Those Tight Blue Jeans

MILIEU

How can I get into her shorts…

The menu was a single piece of letter sized paper, brief and to the point. Expensive usually meant limited choices, and this cafe was no exception. To ensure that the wind didn’t blow the menu away before I ordered, I tucked it under my water glass.

“Would you like a drink, sir?”

“Whiskey, straight up, please. And not the well, make it something daring. Something peppery.”

“Of course, sir. Will anybody be joining you this afternoon?”

“Nobody yet, but we’ll see. The afternoon is young. We’ll see.”

It was a busy day on the boulevard, filled with tourists and office munchkins. I’m glad to be neither. I’ll sit here, watch the sights, drink my whiskey and eat whatever the daily special is.

So many nubile young women to gawk at. I must keep my composure — to some degree. Perhaps I should talk to one. Can’t meet anybody by being a wallflower. Who to talk to, though?

A clatter of glass and steel, and then an “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” right in my ear caused me to turn in my chair, and nearly run my face directly into the most beautiful butt I had seen all day. It was tremendous and only covered by the skimpiest of daisy dukes. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It took me a second or two to realise that the young woman had dropped her iPhone and was simply retrieving the phone. That perfectly shaped peach of a butt that almost had my nose between its cheeks still mesmerised me. It enthralled me.

As she stood from picking up her phone, attempting to appear casual, I said, “Dear, me. I thought those shorts would rip, they’re so tight. How does one ever get into those jeans?”

After looking me over, and seeing that I was an upstanding gentleman, with a smile and a wink, she leaned over, showing her ample cleavage, and said, “Buy me dinner, drinks, and a grand cash. Then you’ll find out”

Cheap at twice the price, I’d say.

It’s an old joke, and a bad one, but it served its purpose for this weekly prompt.

Related posts:

A local instance of an AMQ Broker is handy when developing an integration or application that needs to produce or consume messages. If not necessary. There are of course several options. In the past…

40-hour CEU requirements comprise Mandatory course topic content and optional course topic content a total of which must be 40 hours/CEUs in the 2-year period leading up to your certificate expiry…

Getting a certificate for 200 hour yoga teacher training in Rishikesh is a very beneficial thing for anyone who wants to teach yoga. It is a course that teaches students the art of yoga and its…