Bad Advice On Treasonous American Women Who Worship British Royalty

By The Bad Advisor

Dear I Forgot,

If only there were some mechanism by which we could visually measure the annual passage of time, broken up into smaller increments — say, 12 allotments of, I don’t know, 30 days or so? — that would enable us to mark important occasions such that we could plan for them before the very moment of their occurrence. What a wonder that would be! Instead, we will simply have to rely on each individual person to remember indefinitely and exhaustively which of life’s milestones are important to which people and how far ahead those people need to be apprised of the coming anniversary of the aforementioned milestones, literally the only way to have any knowledge whatsoever of the day that anything happens, ever. It’s a shame that your father is personally holding you and the rest of the world back from developing another system of measuring time, but obviously he just loves this great annual game!

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